


Runaway Marine

by Twin_Kitten



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo is an ass, F/M, Growing Up Together, Marine Corps, Rey Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23056837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twin_Kitten/pseuds/Twin_Kitten
Summary: Ben and Rey grew up together, best friends to the end. Or... it was supposed to be. Everything changed when Ben enlisted in the Marines, without telling Rey or his mother or anyone, and left the night before graduation- cutting contact with everyone. Six years later he comes home for his father's funeral. He doesn't expect Rey to be there; she had big dreams and the smarts and determination to go for them. But there she is, and she's pissed.I'm trying to keep the end a surprise, so the tags and relationships are kinda vague and I'm not putting everything. Rating might change, and anything I think could be triggering will be in tags, but for now it's just sad.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda angst. I say kinda, but it’s very angsty, at least for me. I had planned to make it have two endings because I was trying to be experimental or whatever, one where Rey ends up with Ben and one where she doesn’t, but I decided to let that go and only publish one.
> 
> At the end I’ll give the synopsis of what I planned for the ending that doesn’t get published, but I don’t want to tell you which one I went with so the ending is still a surprise. If someone wants to write the alternate ending to this because they don't like the one I picked, I’m okay with it, just link back here. (I write fanfiction- I get it.) 
> 
> I'm trying to keep the end a surprise, so the tags and relationships are kinda vague and I'm not putting everything. Rating might change, and anything I think could be triggering will be in tags, but for now it's just sad.

"So… they're actually getting a divorce?" Rey leaned forward to try to peer into his face despite the distance between their houses, her back to the outside wall of her bedroom, his pressed tight to the wall next to his widow. "Not just, your dad leaving for a month or two and then coming back?"

Rubbing his jaw, Ben looked over the rooftop avoiding her gaze, "Yeah… looks like it." He sighed, then stared down at his palms, opening and closing his fists as they rested on his thighs. "They are going to the lawyer’s office tomorrow."

Ben and Rey had sat like this, her on her roof and him on his, since they were little. Though, usually they were talking about Rey’s track meet or Ben arguing with his science teacher. The Erso-Andors had moved in next door to the Organa-Solos when Rey was six and Ben was seven, and after a few weeks (and Ben comforting Rey as well as a shy first grader could when she cried on her first day of kindergarten) the two became best friends. And they stayed best friends through middle school; through Rey's first period when he loaned her his sweatshirt to tie around her waist and when Ben got an accidental boner during a basketball practice and she distracted everyone by scraping her leg on the bleachers. She still had the scar. Through his emo phase and her attempts at being an artist. Then high school; Rey blossoming enough to join cheerleading, start a recycling club, and become captain of the track team, while Ben was the tall awkward guy on the basketball team and in the debate club. Rey’s new social standing semi-protected Ben, but he was still the weird kid.

Now Ben was eighteen, his birthday last week and graduation around the corner, then he was off to college. He would fit in better at college. Despite them working out together and Rey knowing he was strong and fast, he was still too skinny and got flack from the assholes and football jocks at school. Rey still had another year before it was her turn to go to college, and it sucked. They planned to go to the same school, Coruscant Tech, but it would be a year of being apart. At least they saw each other after school and on the weekends the year she was still in middle school and he was in high school. He started driving her to school and picking her up when he got his license, and they didn't stop when she got hers.

"But… why now? Between your birthday and graduation. That's just…"  _ Cruel _ was Rey's first thought. As if there wasn't enough change going on, they couldn't wait a few months until Ben was moved into his dorm? "They always fight, what's different this time?"

Punctuating their normal kid stuff, once or twice a year, Han and Leia would separate. Sometimes before the separation, they could hear his parents fighting when they were up here, but they both pretended they couldn't. Usually Ben would jump across the gap to her roof, making her have a heart attack no matter how many times he did it, then they would crawl through her window, go down the stairs and out to get a burger or ice cream or just shoot hoops at the park.

"I don't know."

Ben and Rey didn't talk the whole time they were up there. Lots of times they just… sat quietly. They would read, fool around on their phones, or do homework- occasionally checking each other's work. But this silence was different. It was heavy and oppressive and it… it seemed to mean something.

Standing up, he rubbed his hands on his thighs, "I'm going..." He muttered jerking a thumb at his window, and Rey wasn't sure what to do about the look on his face.

Standing, she wanted to reach out to him, but she wasn't brave enough to cross the gap between them. "Okay… we could go out and get some fries if you want?"

With one leg already through his window he looked back. "I just need to…" Running a hand through his thick hair with a sigh, he shook his head again. "Space. I need to think, you know?" And then he ducked through, shutting the window as Rey called out for him to text her.

He didn't text her, and she didn't see him at all the next day. Not that she expected to, it wasn't surprising that he was hiding out on the day his parents got divorced. But things changed over the next few weeks. Ben didn't hang out on the roof anymore, and barely talked to Rey even at school. He would sit next to her and silently inhale his lunch before disappearing. She eventually found out he would go to the gym and run laps or lift weights until the bell. After school he seemed to get too busy for her, packing things until his room looked bare, cleaning out his car, or going to the fitness club. When did he join that? And WHY? When she offered to join so they could work out together again, he hemmed and hawed, kicking his toe against the ground and shutting her down without outright saying no.

Rey tried to be understanding. His parents were getting divorced, and it was better than the fights he used to get into when his parents broke up. He was working through it very maturely. At least, that's what her parents said. But it didn't feel better to Rey. At least when he would fight boys at school, he still talked to her. And he let her patch him up even when he wouldn't let the school nurse or his mom do it, and Rey managed to hide how she lived for those moments when she could touch his skin like that, when she could stroke him gently and pretend it was more than just putting on band-aids.

Somehow, Leia and Han getting a divorce had made Ben 'divorce' Rey… She had all the heartbreak without ever dating him. Rey had never told anyone about her super-secret crush, or how she dreamed of spending her life with him. She had planned to make Ben fall in love with her and realize how perfect they were together when they were at college together. After all, it was super weird with both their parents around, but in college they could get an apartment and everything would fall into place.

She had been in love with him since at least seventh grade, but probably since he gave her a cookie in kindergarten to make her stop crying. It made no sense and Rey hated that she couldn't control her feelings. She could date anyone at Republic high if she wanted, and had tried. But guys didn't like competing against her friendship with Ben, and at the end of the day, she couldn't see herself with anyone but the big awkward nerd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Graduation day should have been amazing… but it ended up being the worst day of her life.

Rey put on her new sundress and some cute little wedge heeled sandals her mother let her buy, ready to start her last summer with Ben. She would get him back to normal in no time now that school and everything else was out of the way, and then they would have a blissful few months before he went to college.

Knocking on Ben's front door, since they had always planned months and months ago that Rey would ride over with them while her parents were at work, she had been smiling and happy. Until Leia opened the door and Rey saw the look on her face.

Her smile slipped. "Hi Ms. Organa… um…" Rey's feet felt fidgety, and her hands caught behind her back. "Are… are you ready to go?" Looking at Leia again, she didn't look ready. Leia was always well put-together, but today she seemed… off. Her earrings didn't match, she wasn’t wearing her shoes, and her blouse was rumpled. Her eyes were red. She was hesitating too long before answering Rey. "What's wrong?" Rey’s words were slower now, more cautious. Maybe Leia was doing that thing grown-ups did, where they cried when they were happy, or maybe she had been crying about Han.

Leia swallowed, her lips pressing together as she stepped back. "Come on in, Rey."

Now Rey was hesitant, stepping slowly into the too quiet house. Han had moved into the apartment above Aunt Maz and Uncle Chewie’s bar, so the house was lacking a few things. The framed and signed nascar poster with his face on it was missing from the corner where it had always hung. And his racing trophies had left gaps in the bookcase. Rey fondly knew he never shut up about those things, and it was strange not to hear him banging in from the garage to say hello to her.

After urging Rey to sit on the couch, the girl's eyes glancing at these clock, Leia sighed. "I'm so sorry Rey, but we aren't going to graduation. I didn’t even think to call you last night."

"Wh.. What do you mean? It's… today… isn't it? I can take my car, if-"

"No, no Rey, that’s not-" Leia glanced away, muttering about stupid men. "There's no point in going. Ben... he won't be there."

"But he has good grades why wouldn't he graduate?" Nothing made sense, and Rey couldn't help laughing lightly because this had to be a joke.

Reaching over to the coffee table, Leia picked up a wrinkled envelope and handed it to her, speaking gently as Rey slid the note out. It had obviously already been read and was addressed to his mom. "Apparently, after his birthday he… he enlisted in the Marines. He's been training with the other recruits when he said he was at the fitness center…"

"No, that's crazy. He's going to CT in the fall. We were going to go together!" Rey shook her head scanning the note that confirmed what Leia was saying, written in Ben's flowing handwriting.

"He didn’t get into Coruscant Tech. Apparently, he hid the rejection and faked the acceptance letter… He left last night. One of the other recruits picked him up and drove him down to the bus pickup." Leia leaned against the couch rubbing her eyes. "I thought of all people, he would have told you himself." Leia stood and Rey watched how her hand shook as she got a coffee cup out. "He… he should have told you."

Swallowing tightly, her eyes watering, Rey set Leia's note to the side. "Did he leave me a note? Or… anything?"

Leia's face said it all, but she shook her head lightly, her voice gentle despite Ben having abandoned her too. "I'm so sorry, Rey."

Standing suddenly Rey started for the door. "Well… let's go to the recruiter! He can-” Rey gulped in a breath, “He can undo this, or tell us where he is!” Rey could feel herself hyperventilating, her chest hot as her fingers went cold, frantic as she looked around the room for a solution or hoping to see Ben hiding behind a chair. She would never forgive him for this prank but at least he would be here and none of this would be true.

“Calm, calm down. I already called this morning.” Leai came around the counter, trying to put her arm around Rey, but she dodged away. “The recruiter, Snoke, said Ben is an adult and he refused to tell me anything.”

Rey bolted for the door, wobbling with emotion and unsteady heels.

“Rey, wait! You’ll make yourself sick!” Leia tried to follow, but even in heels the girl wasn’t captain of the track team for nothing. “Don’t go like this, let me call your mother?!”

But Rey was gone. She stopped at her house to put on her sneakers but then she ran. She ran and ran, until everything hurt and she found herself sobbing in the school parking lot. She didn’t know where to go. Everything had a memory of Ben, and now he wouldn’t be there. He was alive but he might as well be dead for all that she could find him.

She ran for most of the afternoon, just trying to forget or go numb. Her parents finally found her a few hours later on the swings at the park, still crying. Leia had called and told Jyn everything, and when they found her Cassian picked Rey up and carried her to the car like when she was little, despite his age and her being practically an adult.

It was the worst summer of her life, but she got through it with some help. Her parents got her into therapy, saying it would give her someplace to cry and be mad if she needed it. She did. Leia gave Rey Ben’s car, saying she didn’t need two, and after initially refusing because of all the memories, Rey had taken it. Sometimes she would go out at night, park somewhere and just cry. She wrote letters to every marine training unit she could find and asked around on the internet to see if anyone might know him. No one would tell her anything, saying pretty much the same thing the recruiter had told Leia. If he wanted to be found, he would contact them. Ben never replied, but someone else did. And that helped.

So everyone believed her when she drove to school in his car for her senior year, pretending Ben had told her everything and she knew all along.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to be clear that I am not disparaging recruiters, only Snoke.

******Six years later******

After hanging up, Ben stared down at the cell phone in his hand. Han Solo was dead.

After two years in the marines, struggling through basic training and then deployment, Ben had realized that his recruiter might not have been completely honest about what his life in the Marines would be like. Mediocre grades and a college rejection letter combined with a history of anger issues and family dysfunction had made him a prime target for a recruiter like Sergeant Snoke. It took him another year to admit to himself the terrible thing he did, leaving that way.

So after three years in the Marines with no contact with his family, he reached out. First to Uncle Chewie, who didn’t say much but Ben could feel the disappointment through the phone. Then after they got over that and were back on good terms, Ben tried his mom. Leia had been quietly accepting, if guarded. But six years gone from Naboo California and he couldn’t bring himself to call his father. Or his former best friend.

But he asked about her. Subtly at first, things like  _ ‘so, how is everyone?’ _ but Chewie and Leia both breezed past the questions as if they either hadn’t heard or didn’t know who he was talking about. It wasn’t until he asked point blank that he got the answer he needed.

_ “Mom… How’s Rey?” He had spoken with his head in his hand, tucking himself under a barracks exterior stairwell, which was the best privacy he could find. “Is she okay?” _

_ There was a long silence, and Ben wasn’t sure what that meant until she spoke. “That’s not my business to tell.” _

_ “Come on, you must have seen her...” Ben sighed, “How is she doing at CTech, doesn’t she come home now and then?” _

_ For the first time ever, his mother’s voice was cold and hard when she spoke to him. It was a tone Ben had heard before, but never directed at him. “You don’t have the right to ask about her. Not after what you did.” _

That was all he needed to know that he wasn’t welcome with the one girl he had ever loved. So for the next few years he didn’t ask about her or attempt to stalk her on facebook. He threw himself into his job and even re-enlisted at the end of his first contract. There wasn’t anything else he was good for.

But now he had to go back to Naboo, California. He hadn’t been able to get closure with his dad before he died, so this was his last chance.

He had to talk himself into going home. It wasn’t like he was going to see her. There was no way she had stayed in Naboo, not after getting a degree at CTech. The two people he had been the worst to were either dead or gone. He was safe.

So he put in the paperwork for his emergency leave and got on the first flight out. His friend Hux had offered to come too, and Ben gladly accepted the support.

Driving into town was like going back in time, and it instantly made him feel smaller, which was disconcerting for a man his size. So much so that when he saw the sign for Maz’s Cantina he pulled into the parking lot like a man possessed. Hux blessedly didn’t say anything. But walking in only reminded him of being a child.

He had been inside before he left, his parents were friends with Maz, but he had never been inside during working hours and never for a drink. He needed a drink now. Keeping his head down and ducking through the crowd, he reached the bar and settled against it, banging his hand on the wood to try and bring a bartender out of hiding. Looking over his shoulder his eyes wandered faces, not seeing anyone he recognized.

“What can I get you?”

Until he turned back to the bar.

Dark hair that had been ashy in her teens, now looked rich and soft. Tanned skin peppered with freckles. Bright eyes that shuttered as soon as she recognized him, and the smile that he used to live for vanished.

“Rey…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearing someone bang on the bar for attention, Rey finished mixing a drink and passed it to the customer before heading down the bar. Two unfamiliar forms stood near the end; both tall, one with red hair and the other dark, both cropped close to his head in a high and tight she knew well. Something at the back of her mind cried a warning, but she ignored it. She was used to marines coming into the bar now, and Kylo would be back from getting ice in a minute if these guys started trouble. Not that she needed Kylo, but he was a nice backup.

He turned and his face went slack. It took her longer than she would have liked, long enough for him to say her name, before she realized why. Several emotions went through her before she could school her face into something resembling impassive.

“Didn’t expect to see you here. Ever.”

The compilation of his features was the same, but… everything had a different quality.

He flinched at her tone, and had the audacity to look sheepish. “I ugh, didn’t think you’d still be bumming around Naboo. I thought… you know...”

“What? That I would go to Coruscant Tech with my best friend? Things change.” She tossed her rag over her shoulder and braced her arms against the bar. “Cowards aren't welcome here.” She nodded toward the entrance. “You know the way out.”

The redhead spoke up, anger on his face. “Hey, woah…”

“I’m just here for a drink, Rey…” Ben turned his puppy dog eyes on her and for the first time ever, they had no effect on her. “My dad died. You could at least let me get a drink.”

“You didn’t care about Han when he was alive, don’t pretend you care now that he’s dead.” Crossing her arms over her chest she glared at both of them. “Now get out.”

“You can’t kick us out, we didn’t do anything.” The redhead was glaring now, rising to Ben’s defense.

In a practiced movement, she pointed to the sign behind her without looking, raising an eyebrow. “I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Benjamin and his friends are not welcome here, so this is the last time I’ll ask nicely. Leave.”

“That’s bullshit, and you can’t make us leA-!” The redhead yelped and Ben winced when a heavy hand settled on the tender spot where their shoulder met their neck, squeezing hard enough to bruise and catching the fabric of their shirts.

“The lady asked you to leave.” A dark voice growled from behind them, “It’s best you listen.”

And with that, Kylo was hauling them towards the door, looking like a tank towing two cars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kylo was a lot of things, but tolerant of people treating Rey badly was not one of them. So he wasn’t very gentle when he tossed the two men onto the pavement of the parking lot. Usually that would be the end of it, but tonight he followed them. Because he knew who they were.

“So you’re Ben Solo. The boy I’ve heard so much about.”

Both young men looked up at him with a mix of anger and disbelief that he had managed to wrangle two Marines like children.

“Who the fuck are you!?”

Kylo took great pleasure in rolling up his sleeves slowly, letting them see the two tattoos on the inside of his forearms, and letting him watch the fear grow in their eyes. On his left, the Marine Corp crest of an eagle, globe, and anchor with the words Semper Fidelis underneath. On his right an artistic rendering of his rank insignia topped off with a Drill Instructor Campaign Hat. His hair might have grown out a bit, but there was no mistaking what he was if you looked.

“Master Sergeant Ren.” He crouched over them, watching them recoil with shock. “I know him,” he motioned to Ben before turning his eyes on the other man, his voice dropping into the range he used when training recruits. “Name, Boy.”

Responding on instinct to the tone of voice thanks to the months spent in training, Hux answered quickly. “Lance Corporal Hux, Sir!”

“I might not be able to bust you down in rank, but let me assure you, I still have the numbers of people who can.” Pushing to his feet with the effortless grace of a man who had spent almost ten years in peak physical shape, he glared down at them. “If you ever come into this bar, I’ll make your lives hell for the rest of your contract.”

“Yes Sir!” Both Ben and Hux responded.

“One more thing.” Kylo crossed his arms over his chest, “If you bother my fiance again, you won’t need to worry about rank, because I’ll kill you myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that you know about Kylo, please be aware that Kylo and Ben are not identical, and are not related in any way. They might pass as brothers, but they are not meant to be doppelgangers.


	3. Chapter 3

******Six years ago******

  
  


"Staff Sergeant Ren, deal with this."

Kylo lifted his head from the meal he was scarfing down before the recruits got their rude awakening, taking the papers handed to him without question.

Standing with the papers in hand, he handed his unfinished tray to the line cook with a nod, reading what he could as he strode into the early morning darkness. 

_ To whoever reads this letter, _

_ I'm looking for a man named Benjamin Organa-Solo, who went missing with only a brief note saying he joined the Marines. He is eighteen, kind of skinny, six feet tall, with pale skin, and dark hair. Please, if you know where he is, contact me at 35#-##5-36## or the address on the front of this letter. His family just wants to know where he is and that he is safe. We miss him. _

_ Hopefully, _

_ Rey Erso-Andor. _

Flipping the letter over and seeing a California address, Kylo couldn't help the surprised whistle, just as his fellow Drill Instructor joined him in walking over to the recruit bunkhouse.

"What's that?"

"Not sure, Gunny dropped it on me in mess." Shrugging his shoulders, he folded it and placed it in his front pocket making sure to button it closed. "I'll spend water training checking it out if you can manage?"

"Sounds good." The other Instructor handed him a fog horn, "Ready to wake the kids?"

Kylo straightened his belt, then grabbed one of the double doors, while his partner grabbed the other. "Let's do this."

Whipping the barracks doors open, Sergeant Dameron flicked the lights as Ren jogged down one line of bunks shouting orders and depressing the button on the horn, followed by Dameron on the other side, who was blowing his horn and shaking the bunks hard enough that the kids practically fell off. No matter how funny it was, as Drill Instructors, they couldn’t laugh at how the recruits stumbled and climbed over each other, bleary eyed and confused, but lining up.

Kylo enlisted at eighteen, like many of the marine recruits here. After six years, two tours in places that could not be named, then the rest of his first six year contract spent on special missions, Kylo had become highly decorated for not only his strong work ethic, but also for leading several highly successful operations. He had held his team to such a high standard of performance, that they had been given the nickname Knights of Ren or KoR.

Kylo had found fulfillment and satisfaction in training his teams. So when his contract ended and he was asked if he wanted to re-up, he said yes- if he could be a DI. So here he was a year later, twenty-five, and on his third round of recruits. Being a Drill Instructor was the hardest thing he had ever done in the Corp, but also the most rewarding. He was training the next generation of Marines and he took tremendous pride in molding and shaping these sometimes troubled kids into productive and protective members of society, going above and beyond especially when it came to instilling ethics and codes of behavior.

So later that day when he sat down at the computer in the tiny office he shared with his fellow troop DIs, he again went above and beyond. He found a Benjamin Solo in the database, there was already a flag about other troops receiving similar letters, currently in training down at San Diego. Which made sense since the letter was marked from California; West coast kids went to San Diego, East Coast kids and female recruits went to Parris Island. 

The situation he found was… distasteful. Notes from the recruiter about middle to low grades, rejection from college, parental divorce, and what seemed to be an already troubled kid with anger issues. Kylo couldn’t be a recruiter, not if it meant preying on kids like this. His boot camp reports were already showing a struggling kid; repeated outbursts, one where he tried to punch a DI, followed by a counseling session. He would be a marine that needed increased supervision if he made it out of basic.

It only took a moment to find his hometown and high school online, where he managed to search Ben Organa-Solo. Several things popped up, news articles about his disappearance first but that seemed to die out once the police intervened, then older articles. A basketball picture. A few school paper articles about him in the debate team. Then he searched Rey Erso-Andor, expecting to find a similar boy, but was surprised when pictures of a cheerleader showed up.

A cute cheerleader.

He shook his head, reminding himself that this girl was seventeen, and asking for help not hitting on him. There was more information on her, seeming more outgoing than the boy. Not only cheerleading, but also pictures of her running in a track uniform, holding a trophy, homecoming princess, picking up trash with a caption about a recycle club.

He assumed she was a girlfriend, though why the Solo kid would run from a girl like this, Ren couldn’t understand. It was the work of a moment to figure out the truth. Yearbook photos and school articles said several variations of ‘best friends’ and after checking a few other places, Kylo discovered they were next door neighbors.

Leaning back in the creaky office chair, he found himself rubbing a finger over his lips as he thought. He couldn’t tell her where her friend was, he knew the regulations about that sort of thing. The Corp could not and would not reveal the location of an recruit or marine for anything other than criminal charges. But there was no regulation about contacting her to tell her she needed to let it go. The Marine Corp was currently being understanding of the situation, without giving her anything, but if she continued they could press charges of harassment.

Making a decision, one that in hindsight he should have run past his superiors, he sat up and pulled his cell phone from the drawer where he kept it. Some of the DIs, especially ones with families, kept a cheap and simple phone on them when they were on the field, but Kylo prefered not to. Trying not to think about what he was doing, he dialed the number on the letter.

_ “Hello?” _

Her voice was soft, husky and hopeful, and he hated to be the one to crush her, but he couldn’t let her continue to look for recruit Solo. Gunny told him to handle it, he was gonna handle it.

Trying to keep his voice stern and cold, he spoke, “This is Staff Sergeant Kylo Ren, trying to reach Rey Erso-Andor.”

He could hear the way her breath quivered, even over thousands of miles and a phone connection._ “That’s me! Did you… Where is he?” _

“Miss,” Kylo could feel his tone becoming more gentle, despite his intentions. “I’m not sure if anyone has told you, but the Marine Corp can neither confirm nor deny the location of a recruit unless that recruit allows it.” He swallowed, repeating the words he knew he had to say. Drill Instructors were not known for being gentle and understanding, it was part of the job, but they were human. That was something he had learned once becoming one; he had seen a senior DI rip into a troop and then five minutes later (away from the recruits prying eyes) show off pictures of his newborn with a smile and a soft voice.

_ “Oh.” _ There was a pause, a wiping sound as if she rubbed her face, then, _ “Then… Then why did you call, Staff Sergeant?” _

Running a hand over his buzzed head, Kylo looked up at the ceiling tiles, wondering why he had called. “I… I wanted to offer sympathy for your situation, and…” He hesitated. Seventeen year old girls tended to not take warnings in the intended manner, but he couldn’t help himself. Firming his voice, he spoke again. “To warn you. If you continue to look for him it is highly likely the Marine Corp will press charges on you for harassment and stalking. As all recruits and Marines are considered government property, they could prosecute you for espionage.”

_ “But, I’m just trying… You don’t understand! We were supposed to…” _ He could hear her crying now, the warble in her voice and the sniffle that punctuated her words. _ “It wasn’t supposed to be like this! He ran away without… He didn’t even tell me goodbye!” _

She was breaking his heart, and if he ever met this Ben Solo kid, Kylo was going to give him hell. Hunching forward to put his elbows on his desk, he nodded. “I know, I know… Please don’t cry sweetheart, no guy who bails on you like that is worth it.”

_“I just…”_ There was a shivering pause, and he could hear her trying to calm down, trying to control her breathing as it started to hiccup. _“I don’t understand why he would do this…”_

“Darling, I don’t know why people make bad choices.“ Kylo was well aware that a lot of the kids in his care came from bad situations. HE had come from a bad situation, and joined the Marines because he didn’t have a future, at least not one worth fighting for. He had been found at three years old, abandoned, and then had bounced around the system. Even at fourteen he had known the only way out would be the military, and thanks to a kind PE teacher, he had buckled down and started getting better grades and working out. He didn’t grow up with the same opportunities as the Solo kid or this Rey girl, and if he had, he sure as hell wouldn’t have thrown it away by running off.

At eighteen, if he’d had a girl like this, who cared about him so much, he would never have abandoned her. Probably still would have joined the Marines, but he would have told her and stayed in touch and tried to be near her.

“How about this? Everytime you try to find him, you send it to me instead?”

There was a snorting snuffle, a crying sound he had heard recruits make and he stifled a smile. But then she responded, _ “Like… Send you the letters I want to send him?” _

“No.” Wincing, Kylo shook his head. “Don’t send me angry hate mail full of shit you want to yell at him. When you want to write to him, or call or text though I don’t carry my phone with me, write to me instead.”

_ “Why would you do that?” _

Why the fuck was he doing this?! Kylo didn’t know, but he could guess. “I suppose… I know what it’s like to be left by people that should care about you.” Then he grinned, “And it would cheer me up to get letters every now and then.”

_ “You do realize I’m seventeen?” _

A laugh huffed out of him. “Yeah, yeah I do, but sometimes little kids write to us. Think of it like a pen pal.”

_ “You don’t have a family?” _

“No, Miss, I don’t.”

There was an odd moment of silence on the line and for a second he thought the call had dropped, but then her voice was firm. _ “How do you spell your name?” _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: if you are underage and someone in their 20s starts chatting you up, run. Run far far away from that person. If you squint, some of what Kylo does could be considered grooming, but that is not and never was his intention; he's just soft and touch starved and lonely. But this is fiction, and in real life, do not expect someone's intentions are good and innocent. The only reasons I do not consider this grooming IN THIS FICTIONAL WORK, is because it is unintentional, he did not start the relationship in order to date her, and her parents are aware of and monitoring the relationship. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO REAL LIFE. Even with these three factors and more, there can still be sexual grooming occurring. These situations are full of ambiguity, but an age difference alone does not make a relationship sordid or bad (my husband and I have an age difference similar to the one in this story). PLEASE BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

“That’s new…”

He didn’t even look away from the recruits running obstacles as Sergeant Dameron walked over with the mail bag on his shoulder, a letter in his hand. “Mail isn’t new, Sergeant. We get it daily.”

“You don’t, fucker.”

Kylo looked up and raised an eyebrow as Dameron continued, reading the front. “To SSgt Kylo Ren, C/O Fox 2nd RTBN Platoon. Blah blah blah…”

Catching sight of a flagging recruit, he shouted across the field, “PICK IT UP, MURPHY!!” Satisfied when the boy started running faster, he crossed his arms over his chest, and turned back to his partner DI. “I get mail all the time. How else would I get my pay stubs?”

“Oh, so this letter from a girl is a paystub?” Dameron didn’t smile, they didn’t want the recruits to see that, but Kylo could hear it in his voice.

“What makes you think it’s from a girl?” Both of them paused as a small muddy group passed near enough that they might overhear, Dameron taking a turn to yell at them, before Kylo continued. “It’s just a white envelope.”

“Let’s see… girly handwriting and the name at the top says Miss Rey Erso-An… Hey!”

He snatched it out of his hand moving faster than a man his size has any right to, and Dameron’s tone was teasing now, but Kylo didn’t care. He had a letter from Rey. “I thought you said it wasn’t a girl?”

“Can it and go chase some grunts for a minute.”

“What about the mail bag?”

“Give it to me. I need to shower and change anyway. Keep them out another fifteen minutes, then you can take a break while I’m passing out mail.”

“You got it.”

Kylo couldn’t wait to read the letter, jogging once he was out of sight of Poe. He dropped the mail bag in a lump in the barracks office, then grabbed his spare uniform from the wall locker, starting the water in the shower before quickly ripping open the letter. Luckily it was short and he would be able to read it and shower in time before the recruits came back.

  
  


_ To Staff Sergeant Kylo Ren, _

_ I don’t really know how to start this, it’s weird writing to someone I’ve never met. I don’t know what to say, so I guess I’ll just tell you about my day? I went to the beach and… _

He composed his reply in his head for the rest of the day, before using his precious break time to write and seal a short note. Then he dropped it in the mail bag with the recruits outgoing letters. 

_ To Miss Rey Erso-Andor, _

_ I would love to hear about your day, it is more pleasant than mine, and I’m happy to get anything you write me. You can call me Kylo… _

Her letters came a few times a week, sometimes he got as many as five, even if he only had time to write her once or twice, if he was lucky. She didn’t seem to mind holding most of the burden of their burgeoning friendship, and Kylo was grateful for it. He didn’t have many friends; comrades, maybe a few marines he drank with occasionally, but no one he considered close. Deployments and then being a DI severely cut into his ability to spend time with people outside the corp.

_ To Kylo, _

_ I suppose if I call you Kylo, you should call me Rey. Miss Rey makes me feel like some wilting southern belle in a movie. Though I’m sure after hearing me cry on the phone you think I’m a big baby, I promise I’m not... _

_ Rey, _

_ I’ve watched grown men cry while training to be marines. There’s nothing shameful about it, so you won’t get any judgement from me. A kid fell off the obstacles today and was dangling by the ropes until a couple guys got him down... _

  
  


And so it went for a few months, until Rey started school again. They discussed their daily lives, her plans for after high school, books and movies that he wanted to but didn’t have time to see and read. Mundane things that lifted his spirit through night runs and gas training. Her letters tapered off to once a week, but she started texting him. He warned her that he didn’t carry his phone during training, but she didn’t seem to mind having her texts go unanswered until he fell into his bunk after midnight most nights. She didn’t mind a one sentence text in response to the several she sent throughout the day, and never said anything about the late hour that he usually replied. Sometimes they sent a picture or two; when Rey got a flat tire, Kylo had drooled over her truly epic Shelby Mustang. He had taken a picture of a small part of the mud course and sent it to her, chuckling at her amazement over how high and difficult some of the obstacles were.

Kylo started to think it might be a good idea to move to San Diego. Same job, no sand fleas, and closer to Rey. Plus, those Hollywood Marines could use a little PI shape up. San Diego was on the same time zone and, if google was to be believed, Naboo was only a two hour drive from the base. When she turned eighteen the next summer, he told her about his plan. If she never wanted to meet, that was fine, but he wanted the ability.

Their letters took on a different tone after that.

_ Darling Rey, _

_ You won’t believe what these morons did on the range, you would have laughed… _

_ Dear Kylo, _

_ I think you are right, I should go to college still, even if I can’t stomach the thought of CTech… _

  
  


_ Angel, of course you did well on your exams, you are the smartest person I know… _

  
  


Poe decided to follow him, they were a good team and he was eager to try California beaches, and life continued much the same as it had, though they got to enjoy the California weather when they were kicking recruit ass. Kylo and Rey still traded letters and texts, then eventual phone calls a few times a month, more when he had a break between training groups. He even made her his emergency contact, with her permission and plenty of ribbing from the guys.

Until finally he got the sign he was waiting for when Rey texted him just before her nineteenth birthday.

_ I think we should meet… _

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing outside Rey’s house after pushing the doorbell, Kylo rubbed his hands over his jeans and shuffled his feet in his running shoes. He didn’t have much that wasn’t a uniform and boots, and hadn’t been this nervous about what he was wearing since he got on the bus to Parris Island.

Over the past month, he and Rey had figured out when he could drive the two hours north for a visit. He didn’t make it in time for her birthday party, but he graduated a group the next weekend and drove up. He was grateful he missed her party, trying to integrate with her friends would have been awkward.

This was awkward. He shouldn’t be here. He was twenty-seven and she was nineteen. He should just leave. He didn’t need to meet her. He could be satisfied with letters and phone contact, and eventually listening to her when she met a boy she liked and he would be supportive and not jealous.

But the door opened before he could move, and there she was. Smiling at him. Her smile felt like the sun shining on his skin for the first time. And then she took two steps and her small body was pressing into his chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug, his arms instinctively folding around her to hold her close.

This was it. Everything. Home. Rey was home for Kylo.

Lifting her a bit higher, he buried his face in her shoulder, squeezing her tight until she laughed.

“I’m a hugger… Glad you are too.” She spoke when he finally let go, taking his hand without a thought and leading him into the house.

He wasn’t a hugger. Kylo didn’t get hugs or give hugs. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him outside of training exercises. But, apparently with Rey, he was. “I have your present in my truck ”

"You being here is my present, Kylo..."


End file.
